Growing Up

I don't even know what that means... I find myself being extremely childish all the time and yet my life looks pretty put together.

So what is it? I am constantly torn between these two things!

I am on a great track for my education, finishing up the bachelor's and moving onto an MSW sometime in the next few years. I've been blessed with internships and jobs that are a great springboard and have so much support from those jobs and internships, I am SO grateful.

And then there's the childish side of me that wants to run away and be left alone. I'll be open since this is a blog read by the elite (a nice word for a few people... basically no one!) I am doing everything I can to be responsible but still run away.

Some great things have been paragliding, concert going, skydiving, dancing. Now the real world stuff is coming like- go to Costa Rica for a month to do a social work program, be homeless for a few months to save money for grad school, cut my hair really short, not think about the implications of my actions even though we live in an area where people STRESS ALL DAY EVERYDAY about what their every little action means. The truth of the matter is that no one cares. So why not do it?

Here's the unfortunate thing- I'm a guilt prone person. If you tell me that I'm not doing something right then I really listen and if you tell me AND guilt trip me for it then I'm just going to end up a mess. Soemthing I'm working on but it's after years of letting the guilt sink in instead of puching it aside and doing what I want. What can you do?

Well, you can go to Costa Rica for a month, be homeless for a few months to save for grad school, cut your hair really short and not think about the implications of your actions.

The funny thing is I'm not implying anything.