Keeping Busy

For some reason today I have been arguing in my head all day about if being busy is good or not.

I like being busy. I think this stems from a time when I was really sick for a few months and couldn't be very productive. Now two jobs and full time school is sometimes not enough. This thought was especially prominent today as I was walking out of my Stats class and recalled that the last time I took a Stats class (this Stats class) was when I was sick. I hardly attended class, did very few of the quizzes and never went to lab. That was a crappy time of life, I tell you. When something beyond your control is holding you back, keeping you from doing what you want and is making you feel useless... well it's a crappy feeling and leads to other crap. Some of the poorest decisions of my life came from that time. This time around I have a 117% in the class.

But today I was thinking about what else came from that time. Gumption, drive, ambition. I will never be in that position again (knock on wood) and I will never come close to the dark pit of "life" I was living at that point. The big question, though, is "am I still running away from that?"

And I actually think that I am. I think that I made so many poor choices, surrounded myself with undesirable people and let those people tell me that I was sucking at life. Wouldn't you want to get away from that place?

So now I sit here and think "shouldn't I want to be more social?", "where did that desire go to be around people?" and "why am I so happy without it?"

I think the answer is in the nature of my line of work. I work with people all day everyday and it's great! I love it! I get to meet and talk to all sorts of interesting people! I LOVE listening to what they think and have experienced. I love that we're all different and better yet, that we're all fighting this fight. Everyone that I talk to whether it be a client or co-worker has something mind-blowingly interesting to say and I thrive off of hearing it.

And thus my need for people is filled! I have filled my life with awesome and partake of the fruits daily.